take me to the north where moons fly back and forth where flowers lie peacefully beneath their tombs of ice, all worn out and weary take me to the white sea i wanna see the blackest shores take me to the land where the night knows no end where dawn remains a dream underneath the sky, a veil of lightning steam take me to the white sea i wanna flee calliope i wanna feel something that's real find the distance and nothing more

have you ever been turned away have you ever been ignored have you ever thought that one day you’ll cease to exist at all have you ever put my shoes on have you ever walked so far i won’t share their joy and i regret it but that’s the way things are have you ever been afraid to be afraid to be afraid have you ever said you could handle it and regretted what you said have you ever been rejected have you ever walked so far have you ever felt so neglected that you cursed the way things are imma ruin their joy and i regret it but that's the way things are so i curse the way things are

oh fucking childhood you wrecked me for good i’m waiting like a dog for their next rotten treat waiting as i should sweet sour childhood broken apart for good i’m trying hard to make room for the next memories oh i wish i could you fucked me up and broke me down am i the only one to blame you tore me up and shoved me down i’m a slave to your game no mercy childhood you wrecked me for good i’m waiting all night long for my daily ordeal waiting as i should oh fucking childhood you wrecked me for good all i can think about is shiny blades and blood you wrecked me for good you fucked me up and broke me down am i the only one to blame you tore me up and shoved me down i’m a slave to your game oh fucking childhood broken apart for good and if i slit my wrists for a bag of white magic i’ll be quiet for good i’ll be quiet for good

i was on the verge of killing myself no talent, no money and no mental health doomed forevermore, gloomy skies and skin surrounded by swarms when your sunshine breaks in i’m a loser a failure a fruitless struggle to feel better i’m a muddle of thoughts i fight at nightfall i was on the verge of killing myself i felt like i belonged where the sweetest peace dwells an acute sense of tragic in all the things i do and i make music no one listens to i’m a loser a failure a fruitless struggle to feel better i’m a muddle of thoughts i fight at nightfall i’m a muddle of thoughts i fight at nightfall i was on the verge of killing myself a little voice whispered "just be somebody else" i held on and held on as to feel the last thrill i was on the verge and here i am still i’m a loser a failure a fruitless struggle to feel better i’m a muddle of thoughts i fight at nightfall i’m a muddle of thoughts i fight at nightfall i’m a loser a failure a fruitless struggle to feel better i’m a muddle of thoughts i fight at nightfall i'm a loser i’m a muddle of thoughts i fight at nightfall i'm a loser i’m a muddle of thoughts i fight at nightfall

and yet another sleepless night another battle i ion’t fight i am so heavy, hold me tight talking is tough but the pain is light on my path of least resistance ghostly voices in the distance tell me i’m not gonna make it and i feel like a piece of shit you’re high enough why do you want to smoke again do you think you won’t hit rock bottom in the end you’re high enough this glass ceiling will not break you’re high enough why do you need to smoke again do you think you won’t hit rock bottom in the end you’re high enough and i say that for your sake and i say that for your sake you’re high enough faster you’ll crawl you’re high enough farther you’ll fall trauma, trauma, sweet realm of mine i can’t even leave you behind nightmares color reality i close my eyes but still I see i need to crawl out of my own skin silence the voices from within but should i take off at a blistering pace i will never reach outer space you’re high enough why do you want to smoke again do you think you won’t hit rock bottom in the end you’re high enough this glass ceiling will not break you’re high enough why do you need to smoke again do you think you won’t hit rock bottom in the end you’re high enough and i say that for your sake and i say that for your sake you’re high enough faster you’ll crawl you’re high enough farther you’ll fall back home the room is still haunted echoes fill the void in my head my head’s spinning, my throat feels sore i’ve had enough - still i want more you’re high enough why do you want to smoke again do you think you won’t hit rock bottom in the end you’re high enough this glass ceiling will not break you’re high enough why do you need to smoke again do you think you won’t hit rock bottom in the end you’re high enough and I say that for your sake and I say that for your sake you’re high enough faster you’ll crawl you’re high enough farther you’ll fall

i'm a stranger at home my shadow underneath the walls, away from prying eyes i’m a stranger to the world sad as a stone bad to the bone glad to crawl in the sludge without a noise the sea recedes and frozen seeds sprout in wastelands of ash preach in daylight your hands are tied despairs collide and silence speaks volumes your hands are tied despairs collide and silence speaks volumes the touch of hands always leaves scars distance is all that’s left to see and so i watch you from afar but you don't no you don't you don't come to me can you see me at all? lying underneath the sun i blaze and bleed and bloom you won’t follow me in my fall you made your choice i hear your voice resonate through my tomb you made your choice i hear your voice resonate through my tomb you won’t follow me in my fall the abyss is all that’s left to see and so I watch you from afar but you don't no you don't you don't come to me and you won't no you won't you won't come to me after years of free fall scars hurt like hell under your spell my shell’s breaking away after years of exile i'm greeted with a weary kiss – you don't really miss me, do you? you don't really miss me, do you? you don't really miss me, do you?

one night, i saw a hand come out of the water as a shroud of darkness began to shudder “could you help me come back down to earth? i’m longing for a second birth” and she handed me a bunch of mauve flowers she kissed my breast and drew all over my skin cello melodies to scatter to the wind “if you fall, i will fall with you it’s worth falling if we follow through it’s worth falling as long as we’re not crashing down” she lay down on her own in the midnight sun she pulled the petals off all mallows but one “treat twilight with gentlest caution timelessness is not an option” yearning seems so close and images so remote and memory feels like a lump in my throat you, reaching for a glimpse of dateless daylight i, craving for a glass of sodium nitrite “music fades as days go by i died last year, didn’t i? i have failed you like i have failed everyone” mallows withered long ago in the noonday sun “some memories just glide on the surface others spring up in a random place” no parting words to etch on the walls of silence

flowers of gold around you stories untold about you can you see through my eyes memories in disguise i remember remember remember remember you i’ve stolen the sun to dazzle you i’ve stolen the sun and blinded you i had to choose one i chose you to push me around and pull through can you see through my eyes melodies in disguise i hold on to hold on to hold on to hold on to you

i was torn to pieces it was all my fault and yet you blessed me with your kindness now i take my time oh i'll take my time to pick up the pieces cause you are mine and i'm yours again oh i took my time to fullfill my promises cause i was yours since the dawn of time oh i’ll take my time to cure your diseases cause you are mine and i’m yours again you're the kindest soul that ever saw the light in this darkest world oh beacon of my life you're the kindest soul that ever saw the light in this darkest world oh beacon of my life oh beacon of my life